I am a 33-year old Indian-American woman trying to figure out how to be both without being a total disaster of either. Married. No kids. Big, fat supportive Punjabi family. Loving Punjabi husband. Masters in English. Ph.D. in progress. Working full-time in international development. I also rationalize my feelings and it really sucks for everyone in my life. Sorry.

Why am I doing this? – I had a voice, but I lost it. To cultivate it again, I wanted a low-stakes environment to write, even if into a void.

The People I Mention Constantly (all very real people with very made-up names)

Raj: My husband.

Sonia: My best friend (there will be an entry about the discomfort I first felt becoming bffs with another brown person).

Simran didi: My older sister.

Maya: My colleague and very close friend (who made me start this blog).

Emma: My therapist.